It's Chat Radio! Woo-hoo!

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Chat Radio numba 1! Don't be fooled by the name, it's all text!
written : 03/19/03

Welcome to Chat Radio! It's like Talk Radio except there's no radio or talking involved. It's all done in MSN Messenger, with a little help from Notepad. Basically, it's just me and my friend chatting about nothing in particular. There's a few different segments to each show, including Tech Tips, Music, Software, ~~ASCII Art Lessons~~, Word of the Day, and more. We might think up some more, but the longer the session, the more editing I have to do. As you may know or find out soon, editing makes one very bitter. Especially when it's 2:26 AM and you can't sleep until you know the work is edited and ready to be put into HTML. Oh God, that's gonna take at least another fricking hour. It seemed like a good and fun idea at the time, but now this whole Chat Radio thing seems like a lot more work than I want to do. Well, at least it's only once a week. O_O My advice to all you wannabe webmasters out there: find another dream. IT'S NOT WORTH IT. Actually, it is kinda fun until you get to the editing part. Then it all goes downhill. I guess it would sweeten the deal if you went pro and got paid to do it, but that's not something any geek can pull off. Only the really good geeks get paid to do this sh crap. Well, I guess I won't hold you back anymore. I just have to warn you, there might be something in here that you'll find extremely funny. Chances of that are about 20%, but I put in some of my best lines, so be careful, you might laugh. Hard.

One last little thing, so as to further avoid confusion. Host #1, Ryan Man(me) will be represented by this colour. Host #2, Edwin the Great will be using this colour. Wait... fu frick! That means more work and more editing! Kill me now!

Ryan Man: Howdy

Edwin The Great : Hey

Ryan Man: I'm the host. It is my site after all

Edwin The Great : We're both hosts

Ryan Man: Eh? How does that work?

Edwin The Great : Talk radio has 2 people at all times

Ryan Man: And a guest?

Edwin The Great : I talk, then you talk, and so on

Ryan Man: Ooooooooooh

Edwin The Great : No need of guests!

Ryan Man: OK. Howdy again

Edwin The Great : Hey to all our readers out in digital land!

Ryan Man: Your screen name's looking fine today. *rotflmao* I'm so funny

Edwin The Great : Thank you, as does yours. We'll start with today's traffic report:

Ryan Man: Wet. Veeeeeeeeery wet

Edwin The Great : There will be congestion on GameFAQs.com for the better part of this evening

Ryan Man: Oh, net traffic. Oops

Edwin The Great : Clearing up by later tonight

Ryan Man: Don't forget Newgrounds.com. Thats always congested

Edwin The Great : Okay

Ryan Man: I reccomend you readers don't visit the site, so then it will run faster for me. (Especially between 12:00 and 3:00 PM!)

Edwin The Great : And let's not forget the pr0n sites, stay off those too.

Ryan Man: Yea

Edwin The Great : They're bad for you... Yeah, that's it

Ryan Man: Dirty, dirty porn. Even Spanky McWhack-Whack knows better than to look at porn. Go to a strip club instead, where the ladies are real!

Edwin The Great : So, what are our expectation for this part of your site?

Ryan Man: None at best

Edwin The Great : Hmm... That seems like something that stays consistent in everything I'm involved with

Ryan Man: What can I say? I'm mostly pessimistic after 8:00

Edwin The Great : I'm just apathetic to most of everything...

Ryan Man: In English, please

Edwin The Great : I just don't freakin' care

Ryan Man: Oh. Good stuff. That's 9-5 Ryan

Edwin The Great : I think so. There's less stress that way

Ryan Man: From 5-8 I'm optimistic all the way

Edwin The Great : Hmm... what about 8 to 9?

Ryan Man: Pessimist, I told you. "What can I say? I'm mostly pessimistic after 8:00"

Edwin The Great : Oh... So you mean, including 8! Oh okay. I was never one for remembering

Ryan Man: Nor was I

Edwin The Great : I'm off to get food. brb

Ryan Man: The Hell? In the middle of a... thing(?) Well, I'll just skip to the tech hint part of the show. Today our caller is Bob from my head

Edwin The Great : I'm back

Ryan Man: Bob asks: "When I try to play music after my PC has been on for a while, it gets kind of skippy. What can I do?"

Edwin The Great : Restart your computer, Bob...

Ryan Man: Yeah. Or you can try closing any unneccessary programs

Edwin The Great : If nothing else, hit it. It won't do anything about the music, but it relieves stress

Ryan Man: You wouldn't beleive what kind of crap you can find on some PC's when you Alt+Ctrl+Delete. My list is just filled with crap

Edwin The Great : Especially with Windows XP

Ryan Man: And it just makes the loading take longer, too

Edwin The Great : It's quite the game closing the unknown programs untill the computer dies. It's like Ker-plunk

Ryan Man: Just try to avoid closing Explorer, Systray, and your Media Player, you should be OK

Edwin The Great : I find Systray doesn't do anything either, but books say it's bad, so leave it open.

Ryan Man: Exactly. On to our next question from Doug in Hoserville

Edwin The Great : Nice chicks in Hoserville...

Ryan Man: Doug asks: "When I try to play a CD, only one speaker works. But when I play MP3s and the like, everything works just peachy. How do I fix this?"

Edwin The Great : Check your freakin' cable Doug. It should be coming out of your CD-Rom inside your case.And I mean no disrespect saying 'freakin'', it just seemed funny.

Ryan Man: Yes

Edwin The Great : It's the thin round cable, not the long flat one

Ryan Man: Now seems like the perfect time to segue(what it means, i dunno) into our music segment

Edwin The Great : Alrighty

Ryan Man: Right now, I'm listening to the Transformers theme song. The only thing I would reccommend more is any music by Queen

Edwin The Great : MxPx isn't a bad choice either. I strongly reccomend the song "My Life Story".

Ryan Man: And make sure you get the theme from the movie, the show's theme is good too, but the movie theme is the pinnacle of robot-themed music

Edwin The Great : I agree

Ryan Man: Another good choice from the TF movie is "The Touch" by Stan Bush. One song I don't condone though, is "Dare to be Stupid" by Weird Al

Edwin The Great : No good?

Ryan Man: Normally I like(don't mind) Weird Al, but DtbS, I find, is rather annoying. Any other songs from the soundtrack to the TF movie are good though.

Edwin The Great : Bohemian Rhapsody(or however the hell it's spelt) was one of his better ones. More upbeat that the original

Ryan Man: Mmmmmm... Queen. Perhaps, but you really can't improve on the original

Edwin The Great : I heard the original on the weather channel while my eating my Cheerios

Ryan Man: I never knew the weather channel played such good music. I guess Jimmy Pop was onto something. And for what it's worth, Freddie Mercury probably had the best male voice ever

Edwin The Great : He he, he's got a deadly metal for a last name

Ryan Man: Coming into a close second is Matthew Good, whose new album, Avalanche, is very much worth picking up

Edwin The Great : I like that guy form Korn, he sure can yell...

Ryan Man: I'm not big on the yelling music

Edwin The Great : And the guy from Drowning Pool, he looks like my old electronics teacher

Ryan Man: But like Mr. Mercury, he's dead now... *does sad dance*(which is ironically quite hilarious)

Edwin The Great : Who?

Ryan Man: The frontman from Drowning Pool

Edwin The Great : When the Hell did that happen?

Ryan Man: Sometime last year I believe

Edwin The Great : Why didn't i get a fax! Oh... No fax machine...

Ryan Man: That makes sense

Edwin The Great : I need to figure how to do the Duke Nukem smile with text...

Ryan Man: Hmmm, maybe we should do an ASCII art segment

Edwin The Great : Not today, it annoys me...

Ryan Man: OK. Next time, though, I'll teach you readers how to make Kirby dance!

Edwin The Great : Should we have a software segment?

Ryan Man: Seems appropriate

Edwin The Great : I personally reccomend Winamp for all your music needs. Go to Winamp.com to check that out

Ryan Man: But you should always keep Windows Media Player, Realplayer, Winamp, and Quick Time. They'll always come in handy at one time or another

Edwin The Great : It plays, it, it... doesn't do anything other than that...Only for videos...

Ryan Man: Or, you could just use your File Sharing program's player and QuickTime

Edwin The Great : myp2pProgram.mediaplayer.there=false. In other words: no media player in WinMX

Ryan Man: Does it even have one? It's been ages since I used the damn thing

Edwin The Great : None whatsoever

Ryan Man: And by damn thing, I mean unreliable peice of animal waste

Edwin The Great : Mine works fine...

Ryan Man: I find that it's hard to find a file that downloads, never mind at a decent pace

Edwin The Great : It depends what you look for... Anyways! Back on track here!

Ryan Man: I'd reccomend KaZaA Lite. Apparently it has no spyware and it doesn't crash the PC like original KaZaA

Edwin The Great : Winamp has different skins to choose from, and unlike Windows Media Player, it loads fast

Ryan Man: But I'll always be an iMesh Kid

Edwin The Great : And takes hardly any RAM

Ryan Man: It's like being a Toys 'R' Us Kid, just a little more underhanded

Edwin The Great : In Windows XP... Winamp3 takes... 12 megs of RAM. WMP takes... 2 megs?!? Damn it!

Ryan Man: Ha ha. You lose this round. Not like i win either though

Edwin The Great : wait a sec...

Ryan Man: "I'd like a super-sized death with a coke." ...rotflmao! I laugh every time I hear that

Edwin The Great : It takes the same RAM when playing the same music... So it would seem the 2 are evenly matched

Ryan Man: ok

Edwin The Great : I personally love the media player that came with Windows '95(look on your computers for mplayer2.exe)

Ryan Man: The old 'not-fancy' one? I like that one too

Edwin The Great : Yeah, if it had a playlist, it would be great

Ryan Man: Unfortunately, my other PC lacks a certain video codec or three, so I can't watch videos

Edwin The Great : The one I made for you?

Ryan Man: Yeah

Edwin The Great : Even if it had them, video would run choppy at best

Ryan Man: Choppy or no choppy, I like to watch my Transformers while I go to bed!

Edwin The Great : And I mean like, 4-12 frames per minute here...

Ryan Man: Oh, I see

Edwin The Great : Yeah. I can't even run good videos on my computer upstairs and it's 4 times as fast...

Ryan Man: I still need batteries for my speaker

Edwin The Great : Hmm... AAs?

Ryan Man: Two C's

Edwin The Great : Holy moly!

Ryan Man: Yeah

Edwin The Great : Ah well

Ryan Man: Back to software...

Edwin The Great : So, any site's you'd like to reccomend today? Oh, okay sure

Ryan Man: If your PC is better than mine, find a way to get your hands on C&C Generals.

Edwin The Great : Look on Westwood.com for system requirements. To see if it's worth your time. I'll look for those come to think of it...

Ryan Man: It runs choppy(read: 20-30 frames per min) on my system, but I can tell it's worth it. I hate when good fake 3-D games go to real 3-D

Edwin The Great : Yeah...

Ryan Man: The only thing it really accomplishes is making me unable to play. Examples: Simcity 4, Age of Mythology, C&C Generals

Edwin The Great : Well, the originals used voxels... so it is sorta real 3-D

Ryan Man: That means nothing to me. It's still fake 3-D

Edwin The Great : Hey! I can run Generals!

Ryan Man: Hoo-frickin-ray

Edwin The Great : 800Mhz PC, 128MB RAM, 8X CD/DVD ROM, 1.8 Gigs of HD space, 32MB Video card, DirectX 8.1, and the obvious (keyboard & mouse)

Ryan Man: "800Mhz PC, 128MB RAM" I think that's where I'm having problems

Edwin The Great : Holy shoot! The recommended are scary... It NEEDS 256 for multiplayer

Ryan Man: Dare I say "ow"?

Edwin The Great : Recommended PC speed is 1.8 GHz

Ryan Man: Well, I'll just forget the game exists then...

Edwin The Great : And an NVidia Video card...

Ryan Man: I've got one of those

Edwin The Great : I think I will to, I'm happy with Tiberian Sun and RA2

Ryan Man: Very. Now what was it you were asking before?

Edwin The Great : I'm not sure... Oh, sites

Ryan Man: Ah, site recommendation

Edwin The Great : Yeah

Ryan Man: OK. Hmmm, I guess I'll start with the obvious GameFAQs, Planet GameCube, and X-E. Today, I'll give my site of the day award to...

Edwin The Great : Google.com for all your searching needs

Ryan Man: Hmmm. Tough one. ...Site of the Day 03/19/03 - i-Mockery! Hooray for the pickle hat and Domo-Kun!

Edwin The Great : Searching is worth your time, because it doesn't take a lot at Google.com. I think all sites should have slogans...

Ryan Man: Yes, slogans indeed

Edwin The Great : I love slogans...

Ryan Man: Well, just to be sure, I also recommend the Page of Death

Edwin The Great : *sigh*

Ryan Man: At Mr. Hotshot64v2's Page of Death, we do death right! Although, if you're reading this, you're probably there!

Edwin The Great : Or QB_MASTER, we've got nothing on everything! I'd say that's true, at least for now... There's a link to WWW.com, that's it

Ryan Man: Yeah. So much for random musings...

Edwin The Great : Yup

Ryan Man: Even the pictures are gone

Edwin The Great : It takes a long time to load with dialup

Ryan Man: Like to put the pics there, or to see them?

Edwin The Great : You? Put pics there? Or me, have links to them?

Ryan Man: What takes a long time with dialup? (besides everything)

Edwin The Great : Oh! The background picture

Ryan Man: Well you used to have a gallery

Edwin The Great : True... Want me to put your stuff up there then?

Ryan Man: OK, sure. I take what I can get

Edwin The Great : Alright then.

Ryan Man: But make sure credit is given where credit is due, or there will be fingers a' breakin'

Edwin The Great : I'm only taking the original stuff. Would those fingers be your own?

Ryan Man: Probably

Edwin The Great : Thought so... Maybe a few of mine too, we'll see...

Ryan Man: Until i realize that i was supposed to break the fingers of the theif

Edwin The Great : Ah, I see...

Ryan Man: So what's next?(it's our first show, so we don't really have an agenda)

Edwin The Great : I think that's the bulk of it... we can ramble for a few hours...

Ryan Man: Word of the day! I get it in my E-mail(see Dictionary.com for details)

Edwin The Great : Applet!

Ryan Man: No

Edwin The Great : Oh... Okay

Ryan Man: "Pseudo"

Edwin The Great : Applet is apple with a 'T'. What does it mean?

Ryan Man: It means : fake, false, or not really. Ex: I'm pseudo-evil

Edwin The Great : That explains it! Damn you pseudo-code!

Ryan Man: I'll disregard that last comment(i hope you readers do too). Well, I've used pretty much all my funny for today, which was a total of about 3 sentences

Edwin The Great : Okay I can't say I've ever truely tapped into my funny. I've got tons of the stuff by now...

Ryan Man: I have a lot of editing to do...

Edwin The Great : Yeah, sorry about that...

Ryan Man: Oh well. It's mostly for structural and comprehension reasons

Edwin The Great : Oaky

Ryan Man: Like "the tree is oaky" or a typo?

Edwin The Great : Oaky, the saddest oak tree if them all. Typo.

Ryan Man: I dunno, that Deku in Majora's Mask was pretty sad

Edwin The Great : But is he an oak tree?

Ryan Man: <_< >_> <_< Maybe...

Edwin The Great : Anyways...

Ryan Man: I love the shifty eyes

Edwin The Great : Oh! I see it now! Hey, they are! ...Sorta...

Ryan Man: Yeah. Learned tht one at the GameFAQs message board, and this one \m/

Edwin The Great : What is it?

Ryan Man: The hand gesture when you put up your pointer and pinky finger. Try it, I think you'll find it looks remarkably similar

Edwin The Great : Sorta... \\m// is better

Ryan Man: It's already been "coined"

Edwin The Great : Oh wait... Not really... GDMF! missed the boat again...

Ryan Man: Even if it was better you can't change it now that it's the standard

Edwin The Great : Oh, just a help to our readers, I don't use sexual swears, it all gets abbreviated...

Ryan Man: Well, 2 out of 3 clocks agree that it's after 11:30. I need to start catching up on my sleep

Edwin The Great : Oh, well, okay...

Ryan Man: That's the end of tonight's show

Edwin The Great : Seeya next time boys and girls

Ryan Man: To you readers at home, keep an eye out for our next show. I've got nothing to go out on(again) so I'll leave you with this... ...crap. I got nothing

Edwin The Great : Cosmo is the devil!

Ryan Man: Works for me! Good night everybody!

Edwin The Great : Stupid magazine... Seeya

There. I hope you ~~bit~~ people are ~~fuc~~ happy. It's now 5AM. There is no white left in my eyes. They're totally bloodshot. And to think that I wanted to go to bed at 11:30, what a joke. Stupid brain wouldn't let me sleep until this was done. I hate knowing that there's something you should/could be doing when you're trying to get to sleep. It's like a one-way ticket to No-sleep Land. Fu Damnit. I hate my life. Now I'm gonna have to go to school with absolutely no sleep. It's gonna be a long day.

Update - If you want to read the original, unedited transcript, click here.

~Ryan